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Condom Alternatives For Little Dick Losers

Sometimes, even the “Snug Fit” condoms (what an amazing bit of euphemism there!) are too big for the little dick losers who call our humiliatrixes for little dick phone sex. We’ve complied a list, a very short list, of things you can use instead of condoms on the rare occasion that you’re lucky enough to actually get laid.

1. Finger Gloves; these latex protectors for people’s fingers would make a great protector for your tiny dick. Also, it’s a hell of a lot less humiliating to be found with a box of these in your nightstand than a box of extra small condoms (that are admittedly too big for you anyways.)

2. Sausage Casings: These come in a variety of sizes, from brats (not for you, loser) down to casings intended for cocktail weenies (definitely for a loser like yourself.) They have an indefinite shelf life, and again they’ll only humiliate you if you tell your company or date that you’re using them as condoms (though your date will find out sooner or later, more likely than not later.) You can use natural casing if you want, but be aware that they’re likely too big for your little dick, better to go with collagen casing, which are not only less expensive (we know there’s a positive corellation btween cock size and income, loser,) but they come in smaller sizes perfect for you little dick losers.

We’re always happy to help our little dick losers improve thier pathetic lives. IF you feel you need any more help, just give one of our size queen humiliatrixes a call, and our dispatcher will hook you up with someone who loves to laugh at little cocks.

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